TIP TAP’in to the Oldies

Last night we were treated to the avant-garde performance of ‘Dancin Dave’ Hanson and man was it a show! 

Virginia beach leaders hosted a soiree at the convention center last night; it was more of an art exhibit that morphed into a dance performance for the ages. To the credit of the performers, it was originally billed as a ‘public info’ session with no speakers or Q&A, because things get messy when the ‘normies’ are allowed to pester the movers and shakers.

Upon seeing the large turnout of angry faces,  plans changed.

Ever been in a store and become hypnotized by that claw machine with all the stuffed animals? It looks so straightforward, the mechanics so simple, so you pop in a dollar. Then you drop another, and another – suddenly your five dollars in the hole but you reeeaaalllllllly want that purple unicorn!

The old Cavalier, with its collapsing roof and wayward bricks of death falling from the sky, is that purple unicorn. It’s old grand lawn, oh how grand it was. Grand enough for one last dance with our wallets.

This is how I feel about local city investment funds for tourism and entertainment boondoggles, and yes my friends, they are gambling with house money..like, literally – your house. Your property tax; and I’ll explain that later.

Now if City Manager Dave Hansen was reading that last line, I’m sure his head would explode in a fiery atomic blast! Dave did his best Vince Schlomi impression to hypnotize the audience into approving a $2.6 million private driveway… eh, I mean public greenspace, nestled into the new Cavalier Hotel. Brought to you by Bruce Thompson.

Oh, and how much do we LOVE those road closures they have gifted us already? I sometimes feel like Homer Simpson driving down a once useful 24th street only to (Doh!!) end at a cutoff half-baked cul-de-sac stupidly gazing at Harpoon Larry’s from a block away

Now let’s get one thing straight. I don’t hate Bruce Thompson. Don’t hate the player baby, hate the game. He has played the game masterfully. Bruce and his real estate business interests have contributed over half of the campaign funding to 7 of 11 city council members, but alas that is a different tune for a different jukebox.

Last night we were treated to the avant-garde performance of ‘Dancin Dave’ Hanson and man was it a show!

He two-stepped around questions of the Tourism Investment Project (TIP) Fund being depleted; he sashayed at concerns over parking and congestion. According to an attendee, Hanson should change the name of our current funding methods for tourism into the TIP-TAP Fund the way he was tap dancing around the fire of public opinion.

At one point he glibly dismissed the placement of speed humps on Pacific Avenue, calling them ‘friendly’ and ‘no big deal’. The speed humps will replace the signal poles on the existing Atlantic/Pacific intersection, and according to studies reduce the response time of emergency vehicles by 5-10 seconds. He used the words ‘cool’ and ‘excellent’ when gloating over Thompson’s 5-star resort so often I personally felt I was watching Bill and Ted pitch me a plan to build a private entrance to the San Dimas Mall.

In the end, this is probably going to happen whether the plebes of the city want it or not; I mean, we have already gone $27 million over budget with the Cavalier Renovations so what’s another $2.7 million between friends.

I had mentioned property taxes, which are supposed to fund those annoying little details such as schools and drainage. This ‘Save the Cavalier’ effort, coupled with City Council’s Arena ambitions, will max out the TIP fund for a while.

For 30 years, every cent of all of the tax money directly generated by the arena is returned for debt and interest payment. In addition, 1% of the 8% citywide hotel tax which now goes to the tourism investment project fund will go to the arena as well as $500k from the TIP annually for operating costs. What if there is a need elsewhere; say that Rudee Loop eyesore or potential hurricane damage? Are we prepared to do without it, or use money from the General Fund?